This morning, while on my way to work, I was singing my heart out to my beloved Jay Sean. I love his music *swoons* and him. Of course. I’m a girl. Anyways, his music has always had a central theme around love and I’m a firm believer in love and all its wonders and pains. (Just read previous posts, I speculate over this love thing a lot). When I got into work, I checked out http://browngirlmagazine.com/ to see if any new articles had been published. Lo and behold, I came across an article by Roshni Mulchandani ( http://browngirlmagazine.com/2010/12/how-to-dodge-settling/) which addressed something that myself, and probably every other South Asian girl past the age of 21, is dealing with. Marriage.
I’ve barely scratched the surface of life! I’m supposed to be getting into shenanigans, (oh I do love that word) dancing the night away with my drunk girlfriends, making impromptu road trips, going sky diving on a beautiful sunny day, etc. Not sitting in a room with my parents hovering over me asking me why I do not have any marriage prospects yet. I’m only 22 years old for crying out loud!
In the Indian culture though, 22 is getting up there in years. A girl is of ‘marriageable age‘ from the age of 20-25ish (25 is really pushing it though). In this allotted time, we’re supposed to find, meet, date, and have decided who we want to marry. Not only that, but parents have a set of criterion the boy we haven’t found yet must have. He’s got to be from a good family, have a good education, have a good job, etc. Finding a boy in the Indian culture is like setting up interviews for the coveted job of husband. I see why those things are important, especially for my parents, because they’ll be giving their daughter to someone else to take care of, but those aren’t the only important things. I think it’s important for two people to connect, have things in common, and want to be with each other. My parents and I have gotten into countless arguments over this; they think one can learn these things about a person after marriage, and I’m of the opinion: Why? Why must I marry between the ages of 20-25ish? Why does the man I pick have to fit a neatly ordered checklist? In short, why must I settle? Why can’t I fall head over heels, get butterflies in my stomach, and feel like the luckiest girl in the world because I’ve met the man that I always dreamed of but never thought I’d be blessed enough to have? Pfffft I say to these archaic ideas of ‘marriageable ages‘ and ‘suitable boys‘.
When I marry, it will be because I’m passionately in love with the other person. He’ll be my better half, the sane when I’m crazy, my best friend who won’t hesitate to tell me when I’m being completely ridiculous, he’ll put up with my quirky habits, We’ll laugh until our stomachs hurt, We’ll be each other’s rock, He’ll inspire me to be a better person, and though he may not share my love for ‘Anglan’, he’ll know my heart belongs only to him. In short, he’ll be my soul mate.
So again I say, pffft to ‘marriageable ages’ and ‘suitable boys’.